So, what is happiness? (I know I know, you probably have heard this question many times) But let’s be honest with ourselves for a second and reflect if we are truly happy with our lives. Are we really happy? Don’t just think about whether or not you are in your dream job or you have have fulfilled your childhood desire to be a millionaire. Instead, reflect if you are happy with the things in your life and the things that make you…well,you!

The first thing I think about (or in fact, visualise) when I see the word Happiness, is an image of me smiling with sparkling eyes. (Or at least, that’s how I would like to see myself) But am I really happy? Probably not because I am really good at hiding my emotions, with a smile. Heck, are we not all Oscar worthy actors in the stage called life?

We often relate happiness to the societal norms of how much wealth we have, what occupation we are in or something like this. Well guess what, like many of you guys out there, I (well, mostly because I just read Mark Manson book called, ‘THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK’) just wanted to write how about how I feel about Happiness. My definition of Happiness. How I feel we ALL (yes, it is a realistic ambition), can achieve Happiness. So if you are one of the many pessimistic individuals out there who don’t see a point in knowing more or feel that Happiness is a ‘God given’ luxury to only certain individuals, I suggest you stop reading this right now!

When doing my little research for this topic, I felt that I was more often than not, gravitating towards job, money and things along this line. Well, perhaps I guess I have been infected with this ‘disease’ on how society defines Happiness. Well, since I am already on this topic, might as well sprout some facts I read online. Do you know that globally, only about 13% of individuals are happy with their job? Yea, we are all not the Paul brothers who earn millions from making YouTube videos, which is actually their passion or the fictional Indiana Jones character where he’s a professor after majoring in archaeology! (Heck, I’m about to major in History and all I get from my friends are those ‘you made a mistake’, ‘you are not gonna get a job’ look) When I first came across this article, I was very worried and sad. Worried cause I’m afraid I might be one of ‘those’ who work 9-5 in a job which I hate and slog all week, ‘blowing’ my boss to get a pay raise and waiting for the weekends to chill. And why am I sad? Well because the human life is so short that I really can’t imagine anyone doing what they don’t love, as a career! Hindus believe that we have to go through many cycles of reincarnations to attain the human form and wasting that life, is truly unimaginable.

Ok ok, I don’t want to get long winded explaining about my thoughts on doing something you don’t love. Perhaps, that is an idea for a new opinion piece I might write in the future!

The first and perhaps the most important thing we have to understand about happiness, is that it is a very fickle thing. One moment you have it, the other moment you don’t. And a worryingly large proportionate of us think that money and perhaps money alone can bring us happiness. Well, I wouldn’t blame these group of people for thinking as such.

Lets just imagine that the imaginary formula of A+B+C=D exists, where D is the ultimate goal, Happiness and A to C are the things in life which we think (highlight the word THINK), would bring us or equate to happiness. Each of us have a different representations for what A to C can carry. For some, A represents money. B could be alcohol and C could be drugs. For others this could be err… girls, love and (*insert whatever you want).

And I would not blame the people who live by this ‘formula’, to be happy. They view happiness in a formulaic term because of the society they have been brought up in. If from a very young age you have been told that only if you have A+B+C, can you be happy, more often than not you will start to believe it and implement it in your life as well.

*Ok time for a little flashback on little Haridas when he was around 10 years old*

When I was younger, I used to envy people with PS4’s. I thought ‘OMG, they can play any games and have entertainment at home’. I had this feeling of envy for about 1-2 years till my teens and I wasn’t happy with my little hand phone where I can play games while the rest of my peers played in their PS4’s. In this case my A, was perhaps a PS4. I was unhappy that my entertainment was only mobile phone games. And this toxic trait prevented me from experiencing any true happiness about having my own phone and being able to at least play some form of games in my phone. Then one day, I bought a PS4. True enough, I had certain joy when playing it during the first few weeks. But after the ‘honeymoon’ period, I felt bored again. As you can guess, my happiness implemented again. Why? Because I based my happiness on material things. This boring story of mine lead me to come with my ‘genius’ conclusion about Happiness.

From my very incomplete research and mostly from my own emotions, I feel the reasons our happiness fluctuates is because we hand over the responsibility of our material things or events/circumstances that are beyond our control. Seen that reasoning/explanation anywhere online? I probably wouldn’t know cause I just randomly thought of this. (I might or might not be a genius)

For all of us, the primary objective of happiness is the same. But our path to attaining this objective is the A’s. B’s and C’s. Now, take a moment and think about something that makes you happy. It has a 80% probability that the ‘thing’ that makes you happy, is something beyond your control. Perhaps this is what my Project Work teacher used to label as ‘Instant Gratification’?

Does drugs and alcohol make you happy? Probably only for a short while with ‘consequences’ later. After you get over the initial ‘high’, you go back to feeling shitty. Does love make you happy? Probably only for a short period or what is known as the ‘honeymoon’ period. After 10 years, you might no longer be happy with the love of your life and instead, it might be the main reason for your happiness.

I can go on and on about how things and events which you assume brings you happiness, is just a facade. While it might make you happy in the short run, in the long run you will revert back to being unhappy and chasing happiness.

This brings me to my opinion that happiness is a never ending pursuit and the closer you think you are in achieving happiness, the further you get from attaining it. What makes you happy now, might not still make you happy in the future (Recall what I said in the previous paragraphs).

Ok ok, before I go on, let me list some textbook examples which are in relation to this topic. This might very well be a diversion from the main point but oh well… all is good! Think fame makes you happy? Ask Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson or CR7 how do they feel about being followed around by paparazzi all the time. Yes, it is annoying. Ask Cheryl (the girl that Liam Payne dated) how it felt to be on the limelight for the first time. Ask her how she feels now that her statue on Madame Tussauds is removed because she is ‘no longer relevant’. Let me take a guess. Probably unhappy. Would she have been more happy if she hadn’t gotten famous at all? At least she doesn’t have to worry and be sad about her ‘evaporating’ fame. Ok ok, my main point is that neither fame nor money will bring you happiness. (Think that you rather be unhappy in a Lamborghini then a Honda, shut up! Don’t create a rebuttal for me to write more on. Money DOESN’T MAKE YOU HAPPY).

Ok Haridas, we get it. With a bunch of your examples and non-stop lecturing. So how do I be really happy? (Yes, I can hear your inner voice bruh) Well, hmmm that’s a tough question to answer. Before I share my ‘secret’ on how to be happy, let me just share a saying by my idol Rajinikanth, ‘If your heart has happiness , everywhere you go will make you and others, happy’ (Yep I self translated that because he originally said that in Tamil)! This quote might not have a direct relation to what I am about the write but who cares? Rajini is cool!

Going back, I feel being grateful and accepting your current situation is key to being really happy. Why be grateful? Ever seen news of Syrian refugees running from place to place to avoid conflict and stay alive? Whose life is more miserable? Yours or theirs? Be grateful for the life you are living. I know this might sound cliche but give it a try yea? Take a moment and compare your life to those homeless people, sick and struggling individuals out there. At least you have got a roof over your head and don’t have to keep running to stay alive. Grateful? Feeling happy? Next is accepting your current situation. Imagine a rather curvy and overweight female. (Yes, I am trying to avoid using the word ‘fat’) She will remain unhappy about her physical appearance as long as she compares herself to her slim peers. Once she starts accepting her appearance like Kate Upton had or Ashley Graham had, she will be happy.

Hey, what if I am fat? It’s is not called being fat. It is called being curvy! I know these two examples might not be the ‘Literature level’ or high level examples, but I don’t care! Because my happiness is because I accept I am not that good of a writer, (maybe below average). I accept I am not a good writer, but I still want to share my opinions on things that make me (and now, you) happy regardless of my writing abilities. I can probably think of better examples, but hey screw that. You can say I am a poor writer and I will still be happy because I accept that.

Ok this is getting abit too long. Before I end off, I hope to impart some ‘wisdom’ I have recently acquired. I read a book by Stephan Hawking on cosmology recently. I didn’t understand about 70% of what he says or explains. But what I read that stayed on my mind (and heart) for a long time is that there are greater things to worry about than worrying about what will the girl next door think about you or how much money your childhood friend is earning. The galaxy is only visible when you look at it. We have to stop looking down in despair, stop looking at others in envy and start looking up with hope.

Be happy.

Haridas 17/10/19